29/06/2008

Seriously, what?

It's not exactly a secret that I'm no huge fan of Michael Turner, but I'm extremely creeped out by the amazingly ghoulish emails coming my way since word broke that he died of cancer a day or two ago. I'm not reprinting any of them here because they don't deserve airtime, but basically the general gist is along the lines of "Heh, you're gonna REALLY stick it to him now, right?"

....uh, seriously - what?

Why am I going to "stick it" to someone that just died because I didn't like his artwork or what it seemed to represent in the grand scheme of DCs drive for "diversity and equality" in comics?

You sick, weird freaks of nature. This is another reason why I'm glad I don't write about comics as much as I used to. To everyone that emailed me wondering when I was going to post some presumably gloating missive about Michael Turner, please hurry up and fall off a cliff. Thanks.

15/06/2008

Chuck Dixon Sez....

"I’ve worked under tyrants and I can say that I’d prefer to work under a talented, knowledgeable tyrant with a successful plan than a directionless gladhander with a ouija board any day of the week."

....wow. More here (check the comments, after you read the extremely good article of course).

14/05/2008

Moral Support for a Victim of TOTAL STUPIDITY

WARNER BROTHERS DOESN'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE HAVE CHARITY AUCTIONS FOR KIDS WITH CANCER.

I am never purchasing another comic - or indeed watching another film - that has any connection to DC Comics and / or Warner Bros again unless they fix this mess.

Which they won't.

So I'll be keeping all that cash, thanks.

24/04/2008

Countdown

I bought every issue of 52, because it was fantastic.

I didn't buy a single issue of Countdown, because it sucked.

I win, DC.

10/02/2008

Random Bands That I Like

Rumskib. "Hearts on Fire" is completely amazing.

Foxtail Somersault. Some stunning songs. "Divingboard" is exactly what you need when you're a bit stressed out or whatever.

Brittle Stars. Not actually playing anymore, but Rumpshaker will make you shake your rump, in a vaguely swaying-from-left-to-right fashion.
Northern State. Interesting Beastie Boys spin.

The High Violets. Bit grungy. Bit spacey. Good stuff.

Luminous Orange. Japanese shoegaze that doesn't just sound like a MBV ripoff.

Hartfield. Another Japanese shoegaze band, almost impossible to get their stuff in the UK which sucks.

(Originally posted elsewhere, but I thought I should flesh out the list a bit. Hence, you get two extra bands. Go web go).

03/02/2008

Radisson Martinique Hotel, New York: A Review

Rad_mart I was recently in America for a conference. While I was in New York, I stayed in the Radisson Martinique. Imagine my dismay, then, when it turned out to be the worst hotel I have ever stayed in.

My workplace booked this for me, as I needed somewhere in this particular area for a few meetings before heading onto DC. Right from my arrival, there were problems. My UK bank card doesn't work in a lot of places in the States, so my company book / pay with their company card in advance, sending an auth fax to confirm the hotel can take payment from their card.

At check in, I'm told I need to pay. Looking confused, I'm told the room was merely reserved, not paid for. After handing over my card to pay for the first night (and not even knowing if payment would be accepted or not), I headed to my room. (Eventually my company told me they had indeed sent the hotel a fax in advance - did the hotel staff simply not check the fax machine, or throw it away? Who knows. The lady from my company who had to fix this mess informed me that whoever they dealt with on the phone to sort the problem out wasn't particularly pleasant, either).

The room was tiny, the view was a brick wall with some windows in it, I couldn't control the heating (it was always boiling hot), and the two worst problems: one, the safe wouldn't work, and two, the smell of SMOKE!

The room, the floor itself (and all the other floors I checked out) all reeked of a stale smoke odour. Absolutely horrible, especially as I'm a non-smoker. It seemed like every time the (very noisy) air-conditoning radiator / fan thing switched on, the smell of smoke started to blow into your room. I did hit the off switch on this, but it would always come back on...great engineering, guys.

The safe? I had lots of electronic gear with me, and NEEDED a safe as I'd be in and out of the hotel a lot...didn't particularly want to carry it all with me. Lots of back and forth action commenced, with a guy coming up and failing to fix it, then I was moved into another room, then told to wait for the same guy because the safe in that room didn't work, either (he failed to show up, which didn't exactly inspire confidence). Rang the front desk numerous times - eventually he arrives and tells me the safe in the ORIGINAL room is now working. Had to move back downstairs - something like FOUR HOURS were wasted during all of this nonsense.

I was there for something like three nights - by the final night, I was having problems breathing properly, I felt out of breath and my throat was killing - presumably because of the endless stench of stale smoke filling the room. I'd been up since 6AM because of work, had to be on a train early the next morning and it was now after 10PM and I was pretty annoyed. Went downstairs, demanded a new room only to be told it was pretty much booked out, "would you like me to spray your room with air freshener"?

Surely, that has to be a joke. I persisted, and was told they could take up a dehumidifier. Ok, sure. But..."You can't be in the room when its on, and it'll need to be on for around at least half an hour".

Yep, I was presumably supposed to walk around New York after 10PM at night while they messed around with dehumidifers. I persisted some more - eventually got moved to a new room where I was promised there wouldn't be a smell. Sadly, I wasn't in there long before the smell was back again, and to top it off, the toilet seemed to be stuck flushing and there was only cold water in the shower.

My chest still feels a bit wheezy even now. When I mentioned all of this to the hotel I stayed in during my time in DC, the girl at the desk rolled her eyes like she knew all about the problems people have at this hotel. Considering the Radisson is in New York, it must be a pretty bad state of affairs when poor reviews can travel that far.

I would never go near this place ever again, and if you're a non-smoker, I *strongly* advise you to look somewhere else. To top it all off, their Wireless Internet takes the title of "Worst Net access I have ever had in a hotel". It would stay connected (but lose all net functionality) every ten to twenty seconds, meaning you had to constantly disconnect / reconnect till you were ready to throw the laptop out of the window.

Which wouldn't open.

While your room was filled with the stench of smoke.

Is anyone else seeing a pattern of "bad ideas all round" here?

24/01/2008

When did artists forget how to draw?

Spidey11Years ago, I wanted to draw comics. I drew this picture of Spider Man punching the Hulk into outer orbit when I was about 11. It's probably not the greatest drawing of Spiderman and the Hulk anybody has ever done, but I like to think it had some promise.

Plus, I was never that good at drawing Batman so my options were limited.

At that time, I aspired to be like the so-called "big guns" of American comicbook art - they had style. They had vision. They had panache. Most of all, they had talent.

Then I saw the below panel from Countdown #14 and it all went to shit.

.....yes, Supes. They most certainly are.

16/01/2008

Booster Gold #6 Spoilers

"I didn't cry when I strangled half the population of a small island of Pygmies, but I'll cry now." Me, earlier on

Click here and spoil yourself. Go on, you know you can't resist. You've been waiting weeks - no, months for this - right? Right? Am I right?

I'm right, aren't I? Wait, why are you still here? Shouldn't you be clicking that link?

Sigh.

03/01/2008

See, this is why people laugh at comics

From the latest One More Disaster Day interview:

Interviewer: All right.  Now, instead of having to build up this pact with Mephisto to dissolve the marriage, why not just divorce them?

Joe Quesada:
Sure, that would have been a very easy solution. However, how would a parent feel when they had to explain to their kid that Spider-Man just got divorced from his wife? How would that headline read across the AP or on USA today?

HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU MADE SPIDER MAN MAKE A DEAL WITH SATAN INSTEAD.

Joe Quesada:
The same can be said with an annulment. Sure, divorce is a reality of life, but Peter Parker and Spider-Man are not the types of characters that would do that. Spider-Man is a worldwide icon and is considered one of the good guys, like Superman.

.........HAHAHAHAHAHA YOU MADE SPIDER MAN MAKE A DEAL WITH SATAN INSTEAD.

Awesome logic there, Joe. Well done.

31/12/2007

Spiderman - One More Day: A Review

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh God, someone hurry up and speed up the cull that's been needed in mainstream comics for years. I'd be too optimistic to think this might just do it, but on the bright side, RETCON PUNCH!!!112 is officially no longer the stupidest comic gimmick in history.

Well done, Marvel.

23/11/2007

Photoshop Friday....with my face

Inspired by the following image created by my pal Mikey:

Pg_foo4





I decided to ask a bunch of people to make awesome pictures with my face in it. Here's another two from the same guy:

Pg_foo5Pg_foo2






Here's one from LMS:

Pg_foo3





....and here's one WITH MR FREAKING T IN IT from Familychoice:

Pg_foo

...also eggs and a pipe. Good old random Internets.

If you're going to do continuity porn, at least get it right

Recently I saw a DC Comic (Superman / Batman #41) where Superman has some crazy "otherworldly" dream sequence, where friend and foe alike show up to ramble nonsense at him for a while.

Nice idea. Then I see this:

Super_rick1














....uh, wait, what? Now check out his hair - it's obviously supposed to be the famous "running away screaming" guy from the legendary cover of Action Comics #1.

Sadly for all, he's not called "Rick Radomski". God knows where they got that from, but if DC are going to drop in more and more continuity nonsense to look smart and cool, you'd think someone would have bothered to read the issue before mangling it. Check it out:

Super_rick2















Now I know the coat is a different colour, but that means little here because as you'll see the colours are interchangable at best, and made up as they go along at worst. More importantly, check out the face, the hair and the name. Yes, he's a Gangster called Butch (and he's vaguely important to the story, as it turns out. Not any more though, because he just got written out and replaced with the awesome menace that is Rick Radomski, Hardware Shop Man).

Super_rick3












..there's Butch doing his famous pose bottom left. Note the coat colour has changed, too.

Super_rick4














...and there he is again - clearly the same guy from the previous panel, and so by extension clearly the guy doing the famous "run away now!" pose.

"Rick Radomski"? More like Rick Random.

16/11/2007

Short Comic Reviews, because I can't be bothered

Booster Gold #4: This comic is awesome and full of win. Nobody has even had their skull blown out or had their guts pulled up through their nose yet.

All Star Superman #9: I sense Grant Morrison is running out of "cool shit to do with Superman", hence the arbitrary tossing in of....yawn....yet more Kryptonians into a Superman story. If I see one more collection of Super-whatevers, I'm going to scre -

Too_many_supes_2
























...oh. I guess this is the review of Superman #670 then. I’m totally sick of endless Kryptonians flopping out of the woodwork. The cover to Superman #670 is extremely depressing, because you could probably stuff another four or five Kryptonians on the cover (including Kingdom Come superman and soon-to-be-brought-back E-2 Superman and Whineyboy Prime SuperEmo Dude) and nobody would notice. And now Grant Morrison is in on the act. Oh, and “bottled city of Kandor is out there somewhere”…..sigh.

LAST SON OF KRYPTON, PLEASE.

Just kill them all off and be done with it. At least you can get away with Power Girl because she has a unique “last survivor” angle of her own and she doesn’t just stick a big “S” on her costume.

Everyone else? Death. Death, death, death. Thanks.

15/11/2007

SuperMAN Prime becomes an aged, angry fanboy?

Fix_this_grant

14/11/2007

Batman and The Outsiders #1

Outsiders_oh




























...wait, where have I seen Katanas' pose before?


Outsiders_deja_vu_2



























....oh.

I think Greg Land just got one-upped.

04/11/2007

In a nutshell....

Since Countdown started to envelope every DC Comic on the stands with it's waft of crapulence, I've simply stopped purchasing DC Comics with the sole exception of Booster Gold and The Goddamn Batman.

Every single title dropped bar two, as a result of the most poorly planned super-mega-maxi-multiseries ever devised.

Considering I'm one of the readers Dan DiDio dragged back into the fold with his buildup (and execution of) Infinite Crisis in the first place, he should probably be worried at this point.

This guy
sums it all up pretty well. In fact, it's the kind of DC related rant I'd have probably written myself, if not for the fact that

1) Every time I think DC, I just roll my eyes now and
2) I didn't get suckered into buying ONE SINGLE ISSUE of Countdown (or any of its endless tie-ins) due to the fact that I could smell the stench weeks before the thing was even on sale.

Bam, take that DiDio.

I can honestly say that none of the mainstream titles make any sense anymore, and as for trying to work out what the Hell is going on in any of the others? Forget it. The next paragraph was going to outline (in rapidfire fashion) all of the stupid, confusing things in DC Comics that currently make no sense, but you know what? I can't be bothered. There really is no point, just do yourself a favour and steer well clear until this Countdown shambles is flatlining.

16/10/2007

....Shazam, I'm back

I never really went away, of course. Well, I sort of did. But mainly, I just didn't have anything interesting to say so I kept quiet. But now I'm back with all sorts of dribbling rants about, oh God, all sorts of stuff.

So yeah.....Shazam.

21/07/2007

Site down, call for backup

For some reason, Vitalsecurity.org is forwarding people to an empty directory I have in my webspace. As a result, anyone currently going there gets an error message. Apparently something has borked on the server - I am aware of it, and I haven't been hacked or shot or anything.

No ETA on how long it'll take to fix, though. Bah.

07/07/2007

My contribution to Live Earth:

These big concerts sort of suck without Queen.

01/07/2007

Re-re-wind....when the crowd says...

Boe_selecta_2

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